everything is too quiet.
there's wind blowing and an airplane flying by but it still feels like i'm in the middle of an insufferable silence,
the kind that hangs heavy and thick in the air
and when you inhale it feels as though everything is sticky with heat and humidity.
september is nice because it's mild, but there's something about today that feels biting,
like a whip or someone's sharp sarcasm.
and today has been one cruel shwip of a leather strap after another.
legally, i'm not even enrolled in school,
and i'm having a day where i'm alone but never lonely.
if you thought i was going to be in classes with you tomorrow, then we were both wrong,
because my counselor called sick at the last minute
and i'm not sure i've ever felt quite as much like i've been stranded.
i'll be there wednesday, i hope.
now the sun is shining but everything still feels cruel and at war with itself,
like it has to figure out how to hurt me more than it already has.
as much as i prefer this kind of weather, the world feels
arrogant and bitter
as though it knows how personally i know how to take everything.