Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Concerning Three Years, A Certain Boy, and Trying To Make Sense of Things

July - October 2010
Tentative.
Addled.
Muddy.
November 2010 - May 2011
Easy.
Camaraderie.
Unsuspecting.
Denial?
June 2011
Oh. OH.
Sense out of chaos.
Finally.
Sunny.
Friendly.
July 2011
Lonely.
Without.
Snubbed.
August 2011
Confession.
Confusion.
September 2011 - May 2012
Forgotten.
Ridiculousness.
Arguments.
Ignorance and bliss.
June - September 2012.
Realization.
Finality.
Wondering wondering wondering.
Snubbed, then humbled.
Anxiety.
Building.
Waves crashing.
Letters written.
Telling discussing never saying a word.
Secrets.
Clinging.
Depression.
Movie.
Half birthday.
Not-dates.
Lost.
Emotional dumping ground.
October 2012
Tensions rising.
Breaking point.
Because my thumb slipped.
Missing days.
Library.
My life doesn't suck without you.
Meds every morning.
Wine and lace.
Crying in a bathroom.
"Just friends".
November 2012
Apart.
Shunned.
Stunned.
Texting.
Just Dance.
Party.
I missed you.
November - December 2012
I did not miss this.
Excuses.
Blame.
What do you want?
Stop texting me.
Forgotten.
Holidays depression no more meds.
January 2013
New.
No amends.
Serious.
Etana.
Miroslav.
Miroslav.
Birthday.
No regrets.
February 2013
Lines lines lines.
Solo.
Withdrawal.
Latin Bones Doctor Who.
Bingewatch.
Performance anxiety.
Ten years?
Makeup.
Monologue solo scenes monologue.
Nothing.
Rage.
Removal.
Amends?
Pressure.
"I really like you".
Elation.
"I don't trust him at all".
Confusion.
"Go to hell".
Really?
March 2013
Soccer.
Not after all this.
Don't hate me.
Home.
Therapy.
Puppy.
Can we not.
Insomnia.
April 2013
Minneapolis.
Not speaking.
Yes, I suppose.
Plans.
Drama.
Piano.
High school.
Lonely.
Zelda and Mario.
Definitely not the same page.
Fourth.
Are we going to fix this?
May 2013
Why are we bothering?
Not like that.
Never like that.
Fifth.
You know.
Writing.
Visits.
Heat wave.
Insomnia.
Melatonin.
Group Avanti pool party nerves non-responsive scared.
Not ready for tomorrow to be the first day of the rest of my life.
Never ready for that.
Irreparable damage.
Wish it would stop.
Overreacting.
Everyone's lying all the time.
Day sleeper.
Emotionally unstable.
Mascara smeared over the word WHY.
Am I going crazy?

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